


Rules For An Uchiha To Live By

by J_Ackles



Series: Rules [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Engagement, Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Same-Sex Marriage, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Ackles/pseuds/J_Ackles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rules for Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki to live by. They each have their own set.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rule #1: Have a smart bride.

**Rule #1: Have a smart bride.**

Sasuke looked over at Naruto who was slaving over a simple crossword.

He raised an eyebrow when Naruto began to threaten, and stab the paper to death with his kunai.

"What're you looking at Sasuke? Trying to rub it in my face how much smarter you are?" Naruto asked glaring angrily at Sasuke before walking to their bedroom.

He winced when he heard the door slam shut.

When he thought Naruto's tantrum was finally over and everything had settled down he heard Naruto yell, "And you know what the shops closed tonight, bub! So take your patronage somewhere else! Bastard!!" Sasuke had to flinch violently at this, because Naruto knew very well about Sasuke's needs.

He got up from the chair slowly, trying not to attract anymore of Naruto's rage than he did naturally, because it was in these moments that he was very wary of Naruto's anger toward their difference in intelligence levels.

He walked quickly to the training grounds, and sat down on a stump that had been created the last time Naruto, and him had done it outside when they couldn't make it to the house.

Maybe Naruto wasn't as book smart as he was, but Sasuke Uchiha could honestly admit that there was no one on this earth that he would want to have as a partner in battle, or in life.

Check.


	2. Rule #2: Bride must be a good cook.

** Rule #2: Bride must be a good cook. **

Sasuke looked down at his food with a grimace, and then back up at Naruto who was smiling from his seat across from him, silently urging him to try it.

He stuck his fork into the dead thing on his plate, and took a huge nasty chunk out of it with a hasty crunch sound that reverberated through the dining room missing an oblivious Naruto, who was still smiling at him, and staring intently.

He stuck it in his mouth and felt the need to regurgitate immediately as things he couldn't name oozed, and scratched in his mouth and esophagus.

He wanted to, oh, how he wanted to, tell Naruto how crappy the food was, but he looked up into those blue eyes filled with hope, and he sighed. He couldn't do it.

Damn.

He gulped the remains of the dead thing in his mouth, and drank his pitcher of water in an attempt to wash out the taste.

"It's very good Naruto," Sasuke said looking anywhere other than at Naruto.

Sasuke wondered if there was any hope for someone with such atrocious cooking skills, and whether he could get it by Naruto without him noticing.

But as he was tackled onto the floor by an exuberant Naruto he pushed it out of his mind.

Instant Ramen is food, right?

Check?


	3. Rule #3: Bride looks good in a kimono.

**Rule #3: Bride looks good in a kimono.**

Sasuke looked up from the scroll, and looked at Naruto who was walking around in his boxers.

“Hey Sasuke!” he heard Naruto yell from the kitchen as something broke with a loud crash, and he heard Naruto mumble, “Ah, I don't think he'll need this mug. He could always just use his second favorite.”

His eye twitched as he heard this.

“Dobe,” he mumbled under his breath before replying, “What do you want?”

“There's a festival this weekend,” Sasuke perked up at this bit of information, “and I was wondering, even though I know better, if you wanted to go?”

“Sure,” he replied with a smirk so evil had his older brother Itachi seen it his face may have shown emotion.

Naruto replied with the sound of more breaking glass. “No one likes fine China anyway,” he whispered throwing them away.

 

Sasuke smiled at the beautiful creation that hung in his closet. He had done it. The kimono was beautiful.

Naruto had unknowingly planned his own demise when he had announced the upcoming festival, and now it was time to pay the price.

He had used sex, a tape measure, and ramen to do this, and now here it was: the fruit of all his hard, really hard, work.

He sat down on their bed, and pulled out the scroll to get a head start on the next rule when he noticed that there was another part to Rule #3.

 

** Rule #3 Part A: Make sure Uchiha symbol is shown clearly and prominently somewhere on kimono. **

 

He looked back at the kimono, and than at Naruto who was still sleeping tape measure in hand, and boxers next to him.

He couldn't wait for tonight.

 

Naruto looked beautiful in his kimono.

Sasuke smiled; he definitely was a genius.

He had goaded Naruto into a contest, and had won, of course.

Now Naruto, who had stopped being angry, was now laughing happily, and “beating Sasuke silly at all the festival games they competed in".

Later during the night Sasuke had had enough of flaunting Naruto's ukeness around so after letting Naruto stab him with a kunai, they had been at a couple's booth working on trust exercises where he learned that apparently he couldn't trust Naruto with a sharp instrument, something he had learned a long time ago, he grabbed the blonde's hand and dragged him away to the Uchiha compound ignoring all of “their” friends that wanted to have a conversation.

Dropping him onto their bed he began taking the kimono off of Naruto who was protesting their sudden leave from the festival.

Sasuke ignored him as he kissed a sweet path down to Naruto's seal.

He stood up from his position, and looked down at Naruto. The blush, sweat, gasps, moans, pants, the arching up, the arching down, and the expressions.

Sasuke concluded, as he went back down to work on Naruto, that even though Naruto looked great in a kimono, he looked even better out of one naked, and by his side.

Check. 


	4. Rule #4: Bride will not commit adultery.

** Rule #4: Bride will not commit adultery. **

Sasuke was torn in two. Naruto wasn't one to do such a thing, but Sasuke was worried. Naruto was friendly, but sometimes, Naruto could be a little too friendly. And oblivious. So damn oblivious about how sexy, and cute, he was. And his ass. Oh Kami! It should have been illegal to have an ass like that. It was just so. . . perfect.

He sighed. Maybe Naruto was right, and he was turning into a pervert like Kakashi-sensei.

He looked at the clock, and stood up. Time to go watch Naruto.

 

 

He had headache. A big one. Naruto was not only friendly, but as the years had come and gone, he'd become an unconscious, and natural flirt. How come he hadn't noticed this before? Oh, yeah, he had been busy with Itachi.

At first it wasn't bad, but then Naruto started to get hot, and began to take off his jacket, still the glaringly bright orange color, but adorned with the Uchiha insignia, of course, exposing his shirtless upper half, which got more looks that Sasuke would have liked. This was when the headache began.

Naruto began walking again so now you could see how his ass moved in that way which seemed to make the already high temperature increase.

Sasuke then saw a genin group of boys walking behind Naruto, laughing at something one of them said. They all stopped and stared as Naruto stopped abruptly to bend over and roll up his pant legs, that were still that ugly orange color that blinded Sasuke at times. It wasn't what Naruto was doing that caught their attention, though. It was his backside.

Sasuke's headache grew, because he wanted to glare at the visual trespassers, but he also wanted to stare at Naruto, take him home, and ravish that beautiful body. Naruto stood up and began walking again, but now with a group of hormonal teenage genin behind him staring intently at Sasuke's property. And he was oblivious. His headache was growing.

When Naruto finally had turned around to see the group, Sasuke felt hope for a brief moment that Naruto's obliviousness was just a phase, and that he had finally grown out of, but it was not meant to be, because now, Naruto was hugging them in his shirtless, and sexy state.

Sasuke struggled to keep his hand away from his weapon's pouch, but he succeeded. Just barely. Those genin would never know how close to death they had been on this day. He followed them as they bought popsicles from a passing street vendor.

He became drenched in sweat, well, more sweat than he already was soaked in, as he watched Naruto lick the popsicle in such a suggestive manner, that Sasuke was tempted to replace it with his own popsicle stick. When he looked back at the genin they were staring at Naruto's mouth working on the popsicle stick, gulping every now and then, wiping away sweat while they ignored the sticky mess of the popsicles they held that were melting in their hands under the glare of the sun.

Sasuke's headache had grown intensely at this point due to the indecisiveness of his brain. These were the thoughts running through his mind at this moment: kill the genin, laugh at them, sympathize with them, have sex with Naruto, get rid of the stubborn obliviousness that stayed no matter what he did, and tie Naruto up in a place where only he could see him. Did you see Sasuke's dilemma?

So when Sasuke saw Naruto start heading home, he was immensely relieved. It gave him a chance to take some aspirin, and get rid of the raging hard on he was now sporting thanks to an oblivious blond flirt.

As Sasuke watched Naruto sleep from the many times they had done it, he smiled. Naruto would never do something like that. This dobe with his natural flirtatious personality, sexy body with an ass to yearn for, short temper, loud mouth, and sexy cute ukeness was all his.

Check.

It didn't stop him from asking Naruto to stop being such a sexy, cute, fuckable uke who's an unconscious flirt. After dodging the fist aimed at his head, and ignoring the yells of, "I'm not cute!" and "Fuckable? What the-!" and "Uke? Teme, I'll be seme one day!", he threw Naruto over his shoulder, taking him back to their room where there nice and soft bed was so he could "pound" it into Naruto why he was seme, and how he was such a cute fuckable uke. Naruto was pissed off when he was bedridden.


End file.
